By being a judge means that you are passing judgement upon other people, situations and most importantly yourself. As we all know, we tend to be our own worst enemies. We continuously criticize ourselves... I’m too fat, I’m too thing, I have big feet, I have ugly handwriting, I am a terrible cook... etc, etc. I can literally go on all day listing every criticism I have ever paid to myself or I have heard someone else say about themselves. Then one day I realized that I am so mean to myself. I find myself paying compliments to people all the time, yet I only ever had bad things to say about myself.
So I decided that from now on I would focus on all the things that I like/love about me. Sure it is difficult at first, so to make it easier, I wrote a list of things that I loved about me. Some of the things I wrote down, I didn’t really like at all, but I wrote it down anyway. I began to appreciate myself. Whenever, I would feel the urge to judge myself, I would just notice what it was that I was saying. Then I would take a moment, whenever I got the moment, to think about why I said that about myself. What was the deeper meaning of what it was that I had said to myself? In this way I began to uproot all the insecurities that were hiding inside of me. I deal with each of my insecurity as it shows its face so that in time I will be secure about myself in every way possible.When I stopped judging myself, I began to notice how many times I judged other people. When I say judge, I mean even in a good way, I judged people. Whether someone behaved in a way that I perceived to be "wrong" or "bad", or whether I noticed someone’s behavior to be in accordance to something I believed to be "right" or "good", I was judging. They say when you point your finger at someone then at least three fingers are pointing right back at you. It is true. Most judgments are hypocritical. The things we judge about other people are the things we usually don’t like about ourselves. It reminds me of a poem that I had read when I was a little girl. It was about how its okay for me to act or behave in a certain way, but it’s not okay for you to do it. The problem is that it becomes difficult to notice our own hypocritical nature. That is why I started by being kinder to myself. I became kinder to others, then I became more secure in myself.
Some people argue that there is no real way to not be judgmental because by saying that you’re not going to judge someone, then you made a judgement about them and then you decide not to judge them. Well that’s why I say that it’s important to not judge whether something is perceived by you to be "good" or "bad". Good and bad are relative to each person. In economies we had a joke that went something like: Don’t treat others the way you would like to be treated because their preferences may be different. So something that is good to one person maybe bad to another. Some people love cabbage, other people don’t. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t treat people the way you would like to be treated, but it is necessary to understand that good is only relative to the eye of the perciever. So rather you rather not judge whether an action is "good" or "bad", instead focus on treating others the way you would like to be treated... with kindness... you will notice that the mean hypocrite will be replaced by a more peaceful and relaxed you... you will be happier and more secure.
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