So I am really new to all this positive thinking and spiritualism... So I still have my off days.
This week has felt like a really off week. Sometimes I forget the difference between me and my ego. Which can lead to reverting to my old ways of thinking and acting and reacting.
Its not very nice at all. But its all part of the learning curve. There isn't a book or a movie that you can watch and thereafter you have this revolutionary moment and suddenly your life takes a change for the better. The moment where you recognize a need for change does occur, the truth is that that is where the journey can start and end. You really have to put in the effort and have the drive to want to change things... be happier... Be loved... be you!
So recognizing when you think and feel things that go against the way you vision the perfect you to be, is actually an important step. The more you recognize, the better you will get at overcoming those thoughts and actions.
Don't beat yourself up about it, because that will only serve to feed yourself with more misery... guilt... victimization... Just recognize and allow it to happen... then move on from that point.
All things pass. Good or bad... It comes and goes. No use getting attached to a point in time.
Friday, 29 November 2013
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
Food for thought
For the last few days I have been feeling rather uneasy and I couldn't figure out why. The Darrel Naidu, my good friend, told me that instead of thinking about a possible future, I should rather think about the possible me. Which got me thinking...
So many of us (including myself) spend our time thinking about exactly what it is that we want. What it is could also include a who we want. I looked up at the notes I stuck on my wall, which I made after I watched The Secret, that who can't ever make us happy, because no one must change in order for me to be happy.
I am the sole controller of my own happiness. If I put my happiness in the hands of someone else, it will never bring about the happiness that I really want. How can it? I am my own person, with my own personality and my own set of likes and dislikes... So how can someone else make me happy in exactly the way I want to be happy?
Just some food for thought...
Monday, 25 November 2013
Judging Amy
Lol, for those of you that don't know me, a lot of people call me Amy. And this post is about passing judgments. So I thought the title was appropriate... Now it's lame because I explained it. So now its a Lamy... (for Ash and Darrel)Okay, so what do I mean by judgments... I mean the role we play as a Judge.
By being a judge means that you are passing judgement upon other people, situations and most importantly yourself. As we all know, we tend to be our own worst enemies. We continuously criticize ourselves... I’m too fat, I’m too thing, I have big feet, I have ugly handwriting, I am a terrible cook... etc, etc. I can literally go on all day listing every criticism I have ever paid to myself or I have heard someone else say about themselves. Then one day I realized that I am so mean to myself. I find myself paying compliments to people all the time, yet I only ever had bad things to say about myself.
So I decided that from now on I would focus on all the things that I like/love about me. Sure it is difficult at first, so to make it easier, I wrote a list of things that I loved about me. Some of the things I wrote down, I didn’t really like at all, but I wrote it down anyway. I began to appreciate myself. Whenever, I would feel the urge to judge myself, I would just notice what it was that I was saying. Then I would take a moment, whenever I got the moment, to think about why I said that about myself. What was the deeper meaning of what it was that I had said to myself? In this way I began to uproot all the insecurities that were hiding inside of me. I deal with each of my insecurity as it shows its face so that in time I will be secure about myself in every way possible.When I stopped judging myself, I began to notice how many times I judged other people. When I say judge, I mean even in a good way, I judged people. Whether someone behaved in a way that I perceived to be "wrong" or "bad", or whether I noticed someone’s behavior to be in accordance to something I believed to be "right" or "good", I was judging. They say when you point your finger at someone then at least three fingers are pointing right back at you. It is true. Most judgments are hypocritical. The things we judge about other people are the things we usually don’t like about ourselves. It reminds me of a poem that I had read when I was a little girl. It was about how its okay for me to act or behave in a certain way, but it’s not okay for you to do it. The problem is that it becomes difficult to notice our own hypocritical nature. That is why I started by being kinder to myself. I became kinder to others, then I became more secure in myself.
Some people argue that there is no real way to not be judgmental because by saying that you’re not going to judge someone, then you made a judgement about them and then you decide not to judge them. Well that’s why I say that it’s important to not judge whether something is perceived by you to be "good" or "bad". Good and bad are relative to each person. In economies we had a joke that went something like: Don’t treat others the way you would like to be treated because their preferences may be different. So something that is good to one person maybe bad to another. Some people love cabbage, other people don’t. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t treat people the way you would like to be treated, but it is necessary to understand that good is only relative to the eye of the perciever. So rather you rather not judge whether an action is "good" or "bad", instead focus on treating others the way you would like to be treated... with kindness... you will notice that the mean hypocrite will be replaced by a more peaceful and relaxed you... you will be happier and more secure.
By being a judge means that you are passing judgement upon other people, situations and most importantly yourself. As we all know, we tend to be our own worst enemies. We continuously criticize ourselves... I’m too fat, I’m too thing, I have big feet, I have ugly handwriting, I am a terrible cook... etc, etc. I can literally go on all day listing every criticism I have ever paid to myself or I have heard someone else say about themselves. Then one day I realized that I am so mean to myself. I find myself paying compliments to people all the time, yet I only ever had bad things to say about myself.
So I decided that from now on I would focus on all the things that I like/love about me. Sure it is difficult at first, so to make it easier, I wrote a list of things that I loved about me. Some of the things I wrote down, I didn’t really like at all, but I wrote it down anyway. I began to appreciate myself. Whenever, I would feel the urge to judge myself, I would just notice what it was that I was saying. Then I would take a moment, whenever I got the moment, to think about why I said that about myself. What was the deeper meaning of what it was that I had said to myself? In this way I began to uproot all the insecurities that were hiding inside of me. I deal with each of my insecurity as it shows its face so that in time I will be secure about myself in every way possible.When I stopped judging myself, I began to notice how many times I judged other people. When I say judge, I mean even in a good way, I judged people. Whether someone behaved in a way that I perceived to be "wrong" or "bad", or whether I noticed someone’s behavior to be in accordance to something I believed to be "right" or "good", I was judging. They say when you point your finger at someone then at least three fingers are pointing right back at you. It is true. Most judgments are hypocritical. The things we judge about other people are the things we usually don’t like about ourselves. It reminds me of a poem that I had read when I was a little girl. It was about how its okay for me to act or behave in a certain way, but it’s not okay for you to do it. The problem is that it becomes difficult to notice our own hypocritical nature. That is why I started by being kinder to myself. I became kinder to others, then I became more secure in myself.
Some people argue that there is no real way to not be judgmental because by saying that you’re not going to judge someone, then you made a judgement about them and then you decide not to judge them. Well that’s why I say that it’s important to not judge whether something is perceived by you to be "good" or "bad". Good and bad are relative to each person. In economies we had a joke that went something like: Don’t treat others the way you would like to be treated because their preferences may be different. So something that is good to one person maybe bad to another. Some people love cabbage, other people don’t. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t treat people the way you would like to be treated, but it is necessary to understand that good is only relative to the eye of the perciever. So rather you rather not judge whether an action is "good" or "bad", instead focus on treating others the way you would like to be treated... with kindness... you will notice that the mean hypocrite will be replaced by a more peaceful and relaxed you... you will be happier and more secure.
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