Achieving Peace

Letting Go of Drama

In the search for peace, during our journey of enlightenment, we come to a point of realizing that the drama in our lives is the essential source of all the unhappiness that drives peace away from us.

Drama often disguises itself well because it is often seen as coming from external sources, such as friends and family. Sometimes the drama seems small and insignificant and sometimes it can be large and overwhelming. Often the lack of drama can make us feel bored with life; because it can seem so unexciting that nothing of significance is happening to us.

I have often heard people complain that their lives are so boring and they just wish that something exciting could happen. Then, however; when the drama beings it can start to make the said persons feel consumed by it, and have them wishing for a boring life again. I used to be one of those people, but then I decided that I wanted a life of peace, so the drama had to stop. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be drawn into a flinging match between what she said and he said and how I reacted, yet just deciding that I didn’t want drama was not enough to make the drama vanish.

To let go of drama, we must recognizing the internal drama causing pillars that hold us down and away from peace. These pillars are named as such:

·        Playingthe Victim

·        Playingthe Judge

·        Taking things personally; and

·        Gossiping

We must break free from our internal barriers before we can break free from the external drama causers.

1)  Playing the Victim

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, playing the victim is a state of self-pity. It is sense of feeling as if we have been wronged to such a great extent that we seek sympathy and commiseration from those close to us. We believe that in getting this sympathy we experience a double barrel un-empowering effect. First we believe that sympathy means love. Second we believe we are justified to feel sorry for ourselves.

Sympathyand love are not the same thing. Real love empowers us to grow and become stronger. Real love encourages us to survivor the pain and hurt we have received. Sympathy is an illusion of love. It lulls us into a delusional state of being justified in not growing and not healing and not moving forward in life. Sympathy keeps us week, whereas love makes us stronger.

I would like to add that there are certain situations in life that may ask us to show sympathy or empathy; however it is up to us to be strong enough to not allow this. Love can be given in a gentle way; it can be presented with kindness that is empowering. Taking power away from some is just the kind of act that will take away your own power. By this I mean that we will slowly revert to playing the victim in our own lives.

Playing the victim brings drama into our lives. The more we want sympathy instead of love, the more situations that will come into our lives that will make us feel victimized. The Law of Attraction brings to us more of the state in which we feel. If we are constantly feeling victimized then the LoA will bring more situations to us that will make us feel victimized. These situations are usually compact bursts of drama, and these drama bubbles will grow in size as time goes by and; it will create situations of consistently bigger drama for us to deal with, by playing the victim again.

So step 1 in letting go of drama is to stop playing the victim and start playing the survivor.

2)  Playing the Judge

Ahhh, the Judge... to me the role of the judge is one of the most difficult concepts to explain because people just don’t want to understand it. It means coming to terms with the biggest truth of our lives.

Playing the judge is as easy as breathing in and out. It is a part of our conditioned nature. The judge in us holds a “law book” that we have developed throughout our lives. In this so-called “book” are all our beliefs, expectations, opinions and learnt assumptions. This is the law in which we run our lives with. We hold ourselves, constantly, on trail for any and all deviations we make away from the great book of judgements.

We punish and hurt ourselves when we do something that is considered to be wrong by our book. This creates inner drama within ourselves. This internal drama can then leak out into our external world and create more drama for us.

We also hold others to the same laws that we follow. Any deviations made by others must also be treated with the same punishment. These punishments can include scorn and hurtful words, and we can even believe that we have to be cruel to be kind. Sometimes we argue with others to make them “understand” that our opinions are right. Sometimes people don’t even think that they are trying to prove themselves right, which can make them even more judgmental, and anyone trying to have a different opinion can be seen in the vilest of ways.

Playing the judge is the best method the ego has to act in this world. The ego loves to make itself feel important and being judgmental gives a sense of superiority. It even has a method to cope with its judgmental superiority complex. This method is called hypocrisy. Often to not see our own judgments we become hypocrites, meaning that it is wrong for someone to, let’s say, pick their nose, but it is okay for us to it.

Hypocrisy within ourselves is very difficult to see. But be sure that the universe can see it. The universe has its own method of dealing with hypocrites, which is seen through karma. To me, karma and the LoA are very much the same thing. Karma serves us with a situation that allows us to experience the wrongs and rights that we have imposed upon others. The LoA gives us back the feelings that we put out.

If you have shown a lack of appreciation in your life, chances are you will feel unappreciated by someone. The situation may change, but the feelings that you put out will come back. In the same way, when we feel happiness and gratitude we receive more happiness and more to be grateful for.

This karmic reaction can create a lot of drama in our lives. The drama will exist on its way in and on its way out. If you have done something to create drama in someone’s life, you will not only be part of that drama, but the drama will also come back to you in some other part of your life, if not the same aspect of your life.

So step 2 in letting go drama is to let go the judge within us.

3)  Taking things Personally

Taking things personally causes the most amount of drama, I believe, because it facilitates playing the victim.

Taking things personally means to get offended by the opinions others have of you and to feel “happiness” from the opinions others have of us.

Like I mentioned above in my description of the Judge, every person has their own set of beliefs, opinions, and assumptions. Therefore people tend to voice their opinions of others based on their own likes and dislikes. Therefore nothing said to anyone is really an insult or a compliment because it is nothing more than an fragment of someone else’s law book.

It is important to know who we are before we can stop taking things personally. Realizing who you are appreciating yourself means that no one else’s opinion of you matters. You then become less needy for others to approve of you and less offended by others opinions of you. You remain true to yourself, so that you can provide approval and acceptance for yourself.

When we stop taking things personally we will stop playing the victim and we will stop unnecessary drama from upsetting our lives. We can then enter the world of peace, drama free.

So step 3 in letting go drama is to stop taking things personally and hold true to who you are.

4)  Gossiping

Gossiping is the last pillar in letting go of drama. Many of us do not even realize that gossip plays a huge part of our lives and it is a direct cause of drama.

To gossip is to talk about anyone other than the parties participating in the conversation, with the attempt to add an opinion about the third party. What I mean is that sometimes we mention other people in conversation, but when we mention someone with the intent to discuss their lives and to make assumptions about them and to add our own opinions to their story is gossip.

If we are not involved in the story then talking about it is gossip. If you add an opinion to a story that doesn’t involve then you are gossiping. If create a story about someone based on how you feel about a person then you are gossiping. If you are bashing at a situation that someone is going through then you are gossiping.

Sometimes we delude ourselves into believing that we are discussing someone because we have their best interest at heart, however we are still gossiping. Sometimes we try to take a situation personally or we try to play the victim of the situation then we are still gossiping.

Gossip can cause havoc all around us. Saying something “in all innocence” can create a problem of dramatic measure. I’m not saying that it is wrong to ever mention anyone ever, because then we would make history redundant and we would never learn. This is why it can be important to stick to the facts and to avoid placing an opinion on a situation if one has to speak about someone else. But gossip for the sake of gossip can create drama. Avoiding gossipers is one of the most difficult things in the world to do. But making an effort to stay away from gossip will reduce the amount of drama you have in your life and it will reduce the magnitude of your problems, because gossipers love to make things seem worse than it really is.

So step 4 in letting of drama is to stop gossiping and to avoid gossipers.

Drama-creators

However; doing all of the above steps is not a guarantee that all drama will be relieved from your life. There is still one thing that will create drama in your life, and letting it go is the hardest thing of all. This last and final thing that has to be done in order for you to experience peace, is to let go of all the drama-creators.

There are many people in this world that crave drama the way that we all crave air to breathe. Without drama, they don’t know how to function. These people will be instilled with all the 4 drama pillars and they probably won’t even realize it.

Drama-creators can sometimes be important to us; they can be someone that we love and care about. But we have to separate ourselves from them, because one will never be truly at peace whilst being dragged into the dramas of others.

This will hurt, and it may even be a very uncomfortable feeling, and the drama-creator in your life might try to cause more drama through this separation by taking it personally and playing the victim, and judging you for your decision. But you must stay strong and true to letting go of drama-creators so that you can experience a drama-free peaceful life.

Don’t despair though, the drama-creator will eventually see the error of their ways and may decide to take a leaf out off your book, especially if they want you in their lives. But be careful because after the all the hard work you put into letting go of drama, you don’t want to sucked into someone else’s drama.

I wish you every peace and happiness.

Blessings always J