Desperation Day - or not? I'm thinking NOT!

As we all know, tomorrow is Valentine's day. So if you don't have a Valentine to spend the day with, SHUT UP and listen to me!

Valentine's Day is day to celebrate love. Celebrating love is always a joyous event, even if you don't have a someone special in your life. But many of us will go out and make an effort to show the whole world how anti-Valentine's Day they are. Some people even throw anti-vday parties. Many will sit around feeling sad and lonely because they are not in a relationship on Valentine's Day.

All I see is lack. And lack attracts lack. So if you ever want a Valentine, then stop feeling sorry for lonely state. I know of people that are happy being single but they still feel sad for themselves on Valentine's Day. I mean the day now has the power to make people play the victim. Why not celebrate the joy of love tomorrow, instead of cocooning yourself in anti-love actions?

I am single and as much as the next person I would love to be in a happy loving relationship, well not right now, but some day I will be ready for that. I am not feeling sad for myself for not having a Valentine tomorrow. I am actually excited to be able to see all the happy loving couples enjoy their night. Many people see Valentine's as a day of commercialized love, which it is for the most part, but its also a day where busy modern-day couples, step away from their stressed filled lives to celebrate the love in their lives.  That's what makes Valentine's Day special for most people. But celebrating the love in your life should happen all the time, but its just not possible for everyone.

So if you are single and looking for love, then stop feeling sorry for yourself and get yourself ready to celebrate love because like attracts like, and so if you want to attract love into your life then go do something loving. Fill your day will love. Love yourself (use yesterday's blog as a guideline), or show some love for the people in your life. I baked chocolate chip cookies to give to the people I love. I have never felt this good about Valentine's Day in my life, and that includes the times that I did have a Valentine.

So if I can be happy about Valentine's Day, then whats stopping you? Use the law of attraction to bring love into your life and soon it won't matter whether it's Valentine's Day or not, because you will be out there celebrating love all the time.

Remember that you are beautiful and you are amazing, you should not be crying over a large bowl of ice-cream; you should be out and about strutting your stuff and taking life on your terms. Happiness is a choice, after all.

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone.

PS: Please pass this post on to everyone you know, that is "celebrating" desperation day.

Love to all <3 

Come fall in love again

If you've been the victim of having an unsatisfying love life, then now is the time to change it. But first you have realize that it is not going your way. Some of us might be so consumed by the same old bad type of relationship that we have that we don't even realize that there is a reason to change.

So lets list out some traits of being in an unhappy relationship:

• You go into one relationship after the other, without giving yourself time to recover from the previous relationship.
• Your relationships do not last very long.
• You are distrusting of your partner.
• You require constant communication and contact with your partner.
• You feel alone in the relationship.
• You feel like you are the only one putting in the effort to make the relationship work.
• You and your partner argue more than you communicate.
• You feel uneasy.
• You feel like you need to be rescued and are waiting for someone to rescue you.
• You are still hung up by the "one that got away".
• You are a sucker for punishment.
• You are more tolerant and understanding than you should be.
• You often get taken advantaged off, due to your helpful, understanding and forgiving nature.
• You need someone else to pay you compliments.
• You really really really want to be in a loving relationship.
• I deserve everything that happened to me.

There are more but those are the most common. If you can identify with one or more of these concepts then you need to realize that it is time to change for the better. Unfortunately you do need an Aha moment to see this and perhaps if you have meandered on to this blog than this is a Divine sign to tell you that you need to take a hard look at your life choices.

You have to understand that you are attracting these things to yourself. Your life as it is right now is a reflection of all your past thoughts and choices and if you are unhappy then to change things, all you have to do is make new choices and to think differently.

In order to change things externally, you have to change them internally first. You need to become aware of yourself. Do you value yourself? What are you really worth? What do you really deserve? Do you love yourself? If you have no self worth or value, if you believe that you deserve to be in a bad relationship and if you have no love for yourself then there lies your root problem. The old saying goes that we accept only what we believe we deserve. Have you been accepting unhappiness because you believe you deserve it?

Start by increasing your love for yourself and automatically you will develop a sense of self worth, you will value yourself and the quality of life that you live and you know that you deserve far more than you have accepted for yourself. Loving yourself will not make you vain because true self love comes from accepting yourself as you are and for appreciating yourself for what you have. 

Remember that feeling you have when you fall in love with someone? The blindness to all flaws, the butterflies and your heart racing away. Sometimes you feel dazzled and oblivious to anything anyone else has to say about the person you like. Well, I want you to go through all of that again, with yourself. Every time you look in the mirror becomes mesmerized and feel your heart skip a beat. Become excited to look at yourself, to think of yourself, to spend time alone with yourself. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself. Even if you are pretending, and even if you really don't like certain things about yourself, write it down anyway. Spend time doing things that you love doing. Pamper yourself. This Valentine's Day buy yourself a present? Over time you will believe it and people around you will see how amazing you are.

I did it. I spent a night thinking about me and writing down all the things I like about me and I even wrote down things that I didn't like, as if I did like. The next day I woke up feeling amazing and I decided to dress my best for myself. I felt happy and blissful. When I went to campus, three different people complimented me on the things that I had wrote down on my list. It reinforced my happiness because some of the things I was complimented on were things that I didn't actually like about myself. Again that night I added things to my list and I had the same experience things. Every night I found more and more things that I loved about myself and over time I truly began to fall in love with me.

You see, how can you expect someone to love you if you don't even love you. The more you love yourself, the more you attract people that will love you into your life. You are already amazing you just need to see it. :)

 

Spiritual Relationships: Twin Souls

In my last blog I discussed soul mate relationships. Here I will be discussing the Twin Soul relationship.

A twin soul is one soul that has been split into two, these two counterparts of one soul go onto leading separate life missions. Each half goes out into the world to learn and understand its own concepts and to encounter its own soul mate connections. 

This relationship is so powerful that it can cause great joy and it can also cause great misery. Which is why twin souls may not meet each other at all in this lifetime, it may take many lives before they become ready for each other. This is because twin souls have a mirror relationship, whereby they reflect of each other exactly how they perceive themselves. Just like when you look into a mirror you see all your perfections but you may also see all your flaws, so to is a relationship with your twin soul.

The happiness that is brought about by a twin soul relationship is due to there being a perfect harmony and understanding between the two individuals. This relationship only gives to each other. There is support and strength. Often twin souls have innate trust and loyalty towards each other that makes them secure enough to be themselves, free of judgement, and secure enough to lack neediness and are not clingy. However, this can only happen if both souls are whole and secure within themselves. If not, then the relationship will cause pain and suffering for both individuals. For example, if one person does not believe that they deserve to be loved, then no matter what the other does, they will always feel unloved. Or, if one person feels insecure about themselves, then their insecurities will be reflected back to them.

Therefore, before you go about asking and looking for your twin soul, it is best to really look at yourself. Determine who you are and release all your insecurities. Become whole, loving and accepting of yourself. Learn all your life lessons. Only then will you be ready for your twin soul. However, also remember that even though you might be ready for your twin soul, it does not mean that your twin is ready for you. Have patience because if you force your twin soul into something that he/she is not ready for, then it can still end miserably because you twin soul will still see the lack that they have within themselves, about themselves through. Becoming whole is often difficult, I know that I am not ready for a twin soul relationship, because even though you put in lots of hard work to overcome your shortcoming and becoming accepting, there may be one small part of you that is keeping away from being whole. You may not even recognize it because it is that small. But in front of your twin soul, it can be something huge.

I do believe that if both parties put in the effort of helping each other to become whole, then the twin soul relationship can work happily. However, I have noticed that when a twin soul relationship is not working, the relationship breaks up and each person goes on to rediscover themselves and to work through their own issues. Sometimes, twin souls leave each other completely for months and years, sometimes they stay in contact, as friends. But when they have reached the point of individual wholeness, the twin souls find each other again.

Lastly, its important to note that souls do not understand things such as race, religion or even physical traits. That means that if you are looking for a white, christian woman, with red hair and a shapely body, then you might miss you twin soul completely. You might not even recognize him/her even if they are standing right in front of you, telling you that she/he is your twin soul. The ego has a set of what it believes to be attractive. The ego has its opinion of what characteristics it wants, whether its physically or it is personality traits. The soul doesn't. Therefore, you have to see beyond what you ego wants in order to find your twin soul.

On way to attract your twin soul into your life is to become whole. The more you begin to love and accept yourself and the more secure you become, the more you bring your twin soul into your life. Becoming an energy ball of love. Your twin soul will gravitate towards the wholeness because it too wants to be whole and complete.

Another way is to ask for it from either an angel of your choice, a deity of your choice or to ask God. Before you go to sleep, ask them to help you be with your twin soul while you sleep. It may take a few nights but soon you will start dreaming about being with your twin soul. The twin soul is faceless most of the time, but if you met your twin soul already, you will see their face in your dreams.

Good luck :)

Spiritual Relationships: Soul mates

Hey there guys,

Since its V-day this Friday, I decided to post about spiritual relationships this week. 
So what is a spiritual relationship? Its bond between two people that have been connected through Divine intervention.

Sometimes people refer to spiritual relationships as soul-mates and/or twin souls connections, and sometimes karmic connections. These are not one and the same thing. Soul relationships have different purposes and differing connections, some have nothing to do with love at all.

When I was younger, I watched an episode of Oprah, where a woman referred to soul mates as being anyone that we come into contact with. This happens to be the absolute truth of soul mates. You see we all come from the same place, we are all connected to each other. This is the oneness that many spiritual teachers advise us to experience. In Nirvana, we are all one and the same, and we are all connected by the absolute truth. However, just like it is the absolute truth that the sun doesn't move, the Earth rotates around it, it is also the relative truth that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Therefore, it is important to understand the relative truth of soul mate connections.

Every soul comes down to this world to fulfill its own understanding, through experiencing concepts, because one cannot know certain things if one has not experienced it. For example, you cannot know kindness unless someone has been kind to you and then you show kindness upon someone. The concept is kindness and the experience is the act of kindness. Therefore, soul mates come onto Earth with us to teach us these concepts through experience. How does that work you ask? In Nirvana, your soul determines the experiences it wants to have, and then it forms agreements with other souls to teach these lessons to each other. Then when the time is right on Earth, the two or more souls come together to learn from each other.

So the catch is that not every experience is a pleasant one. Some are horrific, others are just uncomfortable, but all experiences turn our lives around and help us to grow spiritually, if we allow ourselves to learn from the experience. This can be done by not being blinded by our ego's need to feel victimized. 

So a soul mate can be anyone really, maybe even a pet. Your teacher, your ex-boyfriend, your best friend, your parents, cousins, siblings, even your worst enemy.  If someone comes into your life and gives you an experience that alters your life in a upsetting way first (to say the least in some cases) but then it shines a new light once the storm is over, then chances are that that person is your soul mate. 

Often we come across these relationships when dating. If you find yourself in a relationship with a person that abuses you... physically, mentally, emotionally or through controlling actions... You are in desperate need to learn your soul mate lesson. Relationships like these are loudly telling you that you don't have enough self value. Accepting abuse is a sign that your sense of self worth is shattered into pieces. Once you learn that you are worth more than that, you will move forward in life. It's easier said than done, but this is just an example of a type of soul mate relationship.

A relationship with your soul mate is not a very easy one. Tensions might fly high and you might get into heated arguments often. This happens because of the intensity of the connection between you two. The soul recognizes its counter part, and it is often struggling to learn its lesson and move forward. However, these relationships can work out and it can be very happy, so if you chose to have a relationship with your soul mate, then you have to understand that it takes a lot of work and that both parties have to put in the effort.

I just want to add a shout out to my soul mate Ashmika. Just yesterday we laughed at the way our relationship happened. She and I were in the same class in Grade 11, but we never really spoke or hung out. In fact she didn't like me very much and I didn't care to notice that she didn't like me. LOL. But then through circumstances we started talking and getting to know each other and 8 years later we are best friends. Not even distance can separate us. 

Maybe this Valentine's Day you can share some love for the soul mates in your life too?

PS: My friend Brad is single and in his words "ready for the mingle", so if you're interested please drop me a comment. :-D

Steps to overcome feeling blue

So, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately... feels like I am going nowhere slowly... At first my reaction was to nervous and scared for my future, but then I remembered the theme song from the South African tv show Going Nowhere Slowly... It said "going nowhere slowly and that's alright". Then it dawned on me, that it is alright to be exactly where I am in this moment. Perhaps it seems as if I am not making an clear strides in life, I mean it sure felt that way to me. But perhaps this is exactly where I need to be right now in my life. Do you ever feel like your life is going no where at a very fast rate, as if time is running out and you're no where close to succeeding whatever it is that you want to achieve?

I's a hard feeling to cope with and I woke up feeling exactly that way. So I went on to Google to find some explanation and some help to pull me out of this slum that I felt myself falling into. I thought I was on to something too. I read some interesting articles on some fun websites but I still felt so low. Nothing helped, I was getting more drained as the hours passed by. I even began to feel physically ill as well. But then I remembered that happiness is a choice. Vibrating on a level of happiness brings forth more happiness and more happy experience. It also gives off a boom of energy. So I made the choice to do something about my miserable state.

First I went outside, because being outside helps to link in our energy with the Earth's abundant energy. It is revitalizing and fresh. I spent a few moments out there and I felt lighter, though still a bit down. So I decided to meditate. Meditation is the best way to lift the spirit up. Though many of us find it hard to do. I found it extremely difficult because clearing out my mind and being silent and still in my head seemed impossible. But then I came across Raja Yoga, which is wonderful for beginners like us. Its peaceful, but not completely silent. There is some imagining talking to yourself. There are lots of moments of peaceful silence, which is done in such a way that you don't feel the need to occupy the same with unnecessary chatter. There are many sites out there that teach Raja Yoga, or you can contact the Brahma Kumaris near you. There after you can learn to meditate like a pro.

I understand that some people think of meditation as a waste of time. Though I have personally experienced many benefits from meditating. All you need is ten minutes to see some results. That small amount of shanthi (peace) goes a long. The connection of the body and soul is like being on a spiritual high. It helps by also allowing us to get to know our true higher selves. In this world of noise and distractions, a small amount of peace can help you feel lighter and more stable. 

Other forms of meditation can be done. Some spiritual teachers suggest that we focus on our breathing and then picture ourselves in the most beautiful place that we wish to be in. Others suggest chanting of a holy word or the name of God. But an easy way is to get lost in music. Pick out some songs that you love. Many people say that it should be calm and peaceful music, but I think that if its something that you love to listen to then that would be the best time of music. Over time, the type of songs chosen will begin to change automatically, so there is no need to force a change onto yourself. So once you have you songs, just hit play and get lost in the music. 

The idea behind meditation is to still the voices in your mind and allow yourself to become one with your soul and with the Divine. So the road you take doesn't matter, as long as you get there.

So going back to my issue of feeling lost and horrible... The mediation helped me and now I am feeling brand new again. But if you're down and out and the stuff you read above still doesn't help, then go do some exercise. Endorphins are your own natural pick me up. So get those happy juices flowing by exercising or dancing, maybe eat some chocolate. 

Just remember that feeling low doesn't help us achieve the things that we want in life, and it doesn't help us to be present in life. Happiness is a choice, so get out of that sad state now, before it brings you further down. Like attracts like, so positive attracts positive. Where ever you are in life, even if it seems horrible, remember that you are exactly where you are meant to be and there is a reason that you where you are. Maybe it's because of past choices and thinking patterns, or maybe it's an avoidable situation. Whatever the case, you can choose to overcome it and be happy.

Good luck :)

The EGO: how the ego learns

Last time, I discussed, very briefly, about us having and needing an ego and what it is. So today I decided that I am going to tell you about how an ego learns.

Nelson Mandela said that we learn how to hate and therefore we can be taught how to love. Those were some powerful words because the truth in them is filled with great and uplifting power. When we are born, we only know love. Every child is born loving their mother. Over time we learn to love others, then we learn to walk and speak and then we learn to hate. 

It is the ego that learns to hate. The best place to see it, is actually through religious tolerance. The ego learns that it is part of a religious group and it becomes completely identified with it, to the point that it believes that those that follow a different religious path are wrong. They may even feel superior because they may believe that their religion is the best. But really is there any such thing? The point of religion is to teach the love of God and for God, and to teach lessons that help us to follow our life purpose. Every religion teaches this. Then where does the separation come? It comes from the collective ego. Religious groups often have a collective mentality which becomes the collective ego which then filters down to the individual ego. Therefore, the ego learnt this attitude to dislike other religions because "I" am part of a superior religious group. There is nothing wrong in believing in the teachings of a religion, don't misunderstand me, I am not undermining the concept of belonging to a religious organization, nor am I stating that every person that belongs to a religion is intolerant of other religions. I only chose to use religion as an example of how the ego learns to identify itself with a concept and perspective. This same lesson can be used with the example of race, culture and even language. The same way, the ego can also learn love and acceptance. It all depends on the individual, for we are all unique.

Our egos are constantly learning new perspective, beliefs and concepts. We are always developing new opinions and ideas based on all the things we have learnt in life.  So here's the thing... If you learnt things that are bringing you unhappiness, worries and problems, then its time to unlearn them by leaning new things. Adapt your conscious mind to new things so that you can start building up the energy you need to attract a new lifestyle that is specific to what you want. Redefine the things you identify yourself to be. Even if its something as small as letting go of a perspective that has been holding you back in life. Letting  go of a fear, or even becoming more rational, because trust me there are some irrational egos out there in this world.

The ego learns everything that it knows from the time we are born, through experiences, surrounding and teachings. The most dangerous of all the things it learns can sometime come from the media. The idea of what is pretty and what is required to make someone happy, or the need to become popular and known. Its always about wanting more in life, what we have is only good enough up to a certain point, there after we want more, therefore we are almost never truly happy and content in life. The ego allows us to live in the material world and therefore its desires are also materialistic. It's not a bad thing. But to be happy and at peace, we need to keep our spiritual desires in mind as well. Some people believe that in order to become spiritually awaken, we must let go of material desires. But I think that we need both. It's not always possible for us to let go material things, at this point in time, we need money, food and shelter to survive. So developing a balance between getting what you need spiritually and materially is probably the best way to go. Its not easy at all, but it can be done. The balance is required, especially if you are a Lightworker.

Maybe, relax and allow yourself to feel the energy of the universe giving you everything that you and your ego requires.

The EGO: Introducing the voice in my head (1)

Aaaahhh.... The ever daunting ego. I mean imagine telling someone that they have a big ego... If you're lucky you might only get a word slap... If you're unlucky... Well, I'm sorry. 

At university I once told a guy that NASA called to say that they had just spotted his ego from space, that's just how big his ego is. But then recent revelations made me think... perhaps he's not the only one with an ego in that conversation. I have an ego... A big one in fact. And so do you. (I ask you to hold your word slap till you finish reading this). 

We all have an ego, because its the fundamental necessary evil that makes the world go round. Its necessary because it gives us a sense of self. It identifies itself as person with a name and gender and address and life story. You cannot exist in this world without your ego, because no matter much we feel a spiritual oneness with everyone and everything, you will still have your own body that limits you from truly becoming one with the world. You can't avoid it... I mean picture this... You're sitting at the dining table and the person opposite you as just used the salt on their food, and your food also needs more salt... No amount of oneness is gonna make your food saltier. YOU will have to ask the person across from YOU to pass the salt.

Essentially that is all the ego is at its basic level, but what it becomes is entirely up to how you identify yourself with. So no, being vain or modest has very little to do with having an "ego" about yourself. Perhaps studies will one day find that a healthy vanity may in fact be better than being modest. I say this because the vain have a healthy dose of love for themselves, and so they should... Everyone one should. But we all don't. Some of us have low self-esteems, eating disorders, lack confidence, and have issues with accepting achievements with grace. Jane Austin makes a good argument about this, in her book Pride and Prejudice... Actually, it was when I read the book a few years ago that I began to really look at the concept of modesty and its affect on the ego.

You see, learning to love yourself is one of the most important things that one can ever do. I mean you can hold yourself to the perception of what others think of you and be happy or unhappy, but you can also hold yourself to your ego's perception and be happy or unhappy... Everything the ego knows it has learnt. So if you believe that small button noses are nice but you have a straight pointy nose, it doesn't mean that you don't have a nice nose. Or does it? That depends entirely on you and your ego. I will discuss more on this later on when I discuss Taking Things Personally. What I am really trying to achieve here is an understanding on the fact that you are separate from your ego. You can tell this very easily like this: The next time you start thinking about things ask yourself, if I am talking then who is listening? More often than not, you are the one listening and the one talking is your ego. 

One of my cousins always jokes that she can't decide which of the voices in her head should she listen to. She's right, there are a few voices happening in all of our heads. There's the ego, there is you and there is what Eckhart Tolle calls "The pain body". But also sometimes there's a quiet voice in the corner, nudging you on... it may be your gut or sixth sense, or instinct. However you look at it, most of the time that voice is coming from God, or the angels, maybe even a last loved one. So never ignore that voice. I mean you can if you want to... freedom of choice and all that jazz, but it might work out more pleasantly if you did listen.

So we all have an ego and its necessary thing to have, which can sometimes be a bad thing, because the ego affects the way you wield the Law of Attraction. If your ego is always looking to play the victim and you are so identified with your ego that you won't notice just how often you play the victim in your everyday life. The same goes for playing the judge. There are two ways to overpower your ego, sort of. Well, there is only one way that I know off, and the other way is more like a quick fix.

The quick fix way is to change your thoughts. You can think more positive thoughts and you can change your perceptions. This is good as a start because its like trimming down the bushy branches and leaves of an unwanted weed, so that you can eventually pull it out from the root. It will give you an difficult but, forgive the pun, fruitful start. It may take a few days but you will start seeing some definite improvements. But to achieve life long good results, the root must go, otherwise its just as easy to fall back into the same rut that you started off in. Trust me, I have first hand experience in this. It was difficult to climb out of it, but i did, and so can you, so no worries here. 

To pull the root and to accomplish overpowering your ego, you must become present. This means you must be in the moment during the moment. That means the past is only a memory and the future only a possibility that only exists in your mind. So stop and focus completely on something right in front of you. It might be an object, it might be a body part... whatever it is, just focus on it. Your mind will eventually become still and you feel something like peace. You will find that the small bouts of peace can become an addictions and eventually all you will want to do is be present. 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't remember your past, or that its not necessary to plan for the future. Those things are important. All I am saying is that you shouldn't only be stuck in the past and future to the point that you miss out of the fun of the present.

In part 2 of The EGO, I will be discussing the way the ego identifies itself with concepts, and how you can shape your ego to work for you not against you. 

So I leave you will a quote that made an impact on me: